PRIMARY school parents have been left fuming after the traditional Christmas Nativity was ditched in favour of a ’modern version’ starring a gang of jewellery thieves.
Outraged parents – who had expected the story of the birth of Jesus Christ – were left gobsmacked after being told their youngsters would be performing a tale of two violent robbers called Bill and Bob.
Traditional Christmas carols have been given controversial new lyrics which some parents believe are inappropriate for the primary school’s seven to 11-year-old intake.
To the tune of Away In A Manger, pupils will be asked to sing about Bill and Bob, in verses like the following:
“They knocked off the jewellers,
Though it was broad daylight,
They stole loads of diamonds,
To their utter delight.”
The decision by teachers at Canvey Junior School in Essex to stage the controversial production has riased eyebrows as the town has recently suffered a spate of robberies.
Canvey Island residents have been the victims of seven violent armed raids in the past six weeks.
One parent has already removed their child from the Christmas production in protest over its violent undertones.
Another parent, who asked not to be named, said: “I think it is a little tasteless to stage the play with all the recent reports of armed robberies on the island.
“I don’t understand why the politically correct brigade has had to get rid of the traditional story anyway?
“I can’t see that this gangster story is going to be better than something from The Bible.
“What are they going to have our children saying? ’Sorry Mary and Joseph, but there is no room in the cells?’”
The school nativity has been a staple in British schools for decades with starring roles including Mary, Joseph, the three wise men, the shepherds, the inn keeper and the donkey.
But headteacher, Janet Vaughan, has defended the new production saying it is merely a light-hearted twist on the traditional Christmas tale.
She said: “It is very, very funny and nothing more than a light-hearted version of events.
“The outcome is the robbers are caught and banged to rights and the true meaning of Christmas comes across very strongly with a nativity at the end.
“It is nice to have a fun element to any sort of Christmas production and we always have a religious basis to it as well.
“It’s nonsense to say the words are anything other than tongue-in-cheek and the children understand that.”
Here are the full lyrics to the school’s very ’Alternative’ Away in a Manger. Is it just harmless fun or inappropriate? You can post your views below.
“Away with the manger,
Two robbers stole it,
They were called Bob and Bill,
And they were both big twits.
The story you will now hear,
Will amaze and astound,
As you see how these two fools,
Did much clowning around.
Our brilliant story begins,
Not very long ago,
A week before Christmas,
With the streets filled with snow.
The two twits decided,
To rob a jewellery shop,
Stealing rubies and emeralds and avoiding the cops.
They knocked off the jewellers,
Though it was broad daylight,
They stole loads of diamonds,
To their utter delight.
But soon the two twits were,
In complete disarray,
As they’d given no thought to,
How they’d get away.”
HE STILL SPEAKS! 